It’s not the absence of pain that makes a relationship successful. It’s the presence and enjoyment of joy. Unfortunately, people with the best intentions often forget that relationships are hard work. They work so hard that they don’t have time to enjoy their hopes, dreams, and even just fun.
Making life dreams come true
One of the critical elements of long-lasting relationships is “Making Life Dreams Come True.” Couples that honor each other’s dreams and hopes are more likely than those who don’t. You don’t need to do something extreme or complex. For example, you could sign up together for a pottery class because your partner is passionate about ceramics.
These are three easy and quick steps that you can follow this week.
Do not wait to have fun. Get it now.
Every day brings us many tedious tasks.
We are guilty of dreaming about exotic getaways while enjoying our daily meals.
Couples often wait until vacations or weekends to have fun. This is a mistake. You can bring laughter to otherwise boring activities with a bit of creativity.
My children loved to throw out all the plastic blocks they could find on the floor when they were young. Then, they would build impressive towers and machines.
Do you remember stepping on one of those blocks while walking on hardwood floors? Yes, I have. I have two children. I don’t know which one hurts more.
Usually, I would react in one of these two ways.
- I would curse and pick up the blocks, knowing I could do it faster than I could on my own.
- To see who could win the most points during the “10-minute tidy,” I set up a race.
While we cannot make fun of every chore, it is possible to incorporate more enjoyment into our daily lives by doing it occasionally. Adults can reap the benefits of play as much as children.
You can take these steps to make your life and your partner more fun and less stressful.
- In the middle of work, send a flirty emoji
- Talk about your budget at your favorite brunch spot
- Instead of splitting and conquering, run errands together
Keep in mind the main reason you are in a relationship. First, you want to live your life with your partner.
Your partner probably wasn’t chosen for their conflict-management skills. You felt a vibe. It could have been the first time you met, your first date, or your first kiss. There was always something that worked somewhere along the line.
Do you remember that feeling of excitement you felt when you looked forward to your next get-together? This is your chance to get it back.
Couples often feel exhausted after a long day of parenting or working. Sometimes they are too exhausted to have meaningful conversations or laugh together.
Finding a way to say no to a few things daily is part of prioritizing joy in your relationships. You have many demands on your energy and time. Your happiness could be put on the back burner if you answer “yes” to every one of them. Perhaps some calls or emails can wait for later.
This will give you more energy to have fun conversations with your partner or for having playful interactions.
Plan your adventures
Sometimes, “working on your relationships” means setting up childcare, making reservations for dinner, and brainstorming cheap excursions. If you don’t plan, date nights will not happen. The good news is that most people find planning less complicated than they imagine once they get started.
Since I was a couple of therapists, it still amazes me how much it is easier for couples to discuss conflict than to plan regular date nights.